Eliana Caroline Lepore - July 15, 2009

Little Miss Eliana has arrived!

Eliana Caroline Lepore

Born July 15 at 1:21 in the afternoon

Weight 6 lbs. 13 oz.

Length 19 inches

Absolutely PerfectJ

It’s hard to believe it’s been a week since I last wrote.  To say that a lot has happened over this past week is an understatement.  The littlest Lepore has finally joined our family.  We are all thrilled and feel absolutely blessed that she’s healthy, happy and busily growing!

Prepare for Arrival!

Ellie’s arrival was it’s own unique experience for Chris and I.  There’s something about showing up at the hospital at a set time and eventually walking yourself to an operating room.  I must admit, as we proceeded down the long, shadowy hallway, thoughts of a plan B for getting Eliana into this world whirled through my mind. How else could I get her into this world besides enduring surgery? What if I wasn’t strong enough to have a spinal tap?  Would I feel the entire procedure?  Maybe I could have them put me to sleep so that I wouldn’t wimp out.  No -- not an option because I had to be awake for her arrival… 

To be honest, my strength and resolve came from Grandma Lepore.  I knew that she was in Ohio lying in a hospital bed.  The next day, she would be undergoing open-heart surgery.  If she could undergo such a strenuous procedure at 75, certainly I could endure a simple incision in my belly.  This one’s for Grandma and Ellie!

Chris seemed a bit apprehensive about the entire experience as well.  He knew there was no way he could watch the procedure – just be there for me and baby.  I had to convince him before we departed for the operating room to take the camera – he just didn’t think he could take photos.  He was focused on not passing out…

Somehow, Chris and I found the strength to thrive through it all. 

After walking into the brightly lit, sterile operating room, the anesthesiologist and nurses had me sit up on the table with my legs dangling down and lean forward to hug my legs.  They numbed my spine with some kind of solution and then injected the medicine. 

I felt a warm wave wash through my lower body; the warmth started with my belly and rapidly worked its way to my feet.  They immediately had me help put my feet and legs up on the table before I lost sensation.  The next thing I knew, I could feel nothing from my belly down.  Mentally, I felt a dulling sense of awareness.  I certainly knew what was going on, but my sensations and focus were fuzzy – quite a strange sensation.  To be honest, this is what I don’t like about strong medication, the surrendering of control and focus…

 Once my body was numb, they put a bluish colored sheet-like curtain up that separated the lower half of my body from the top.  Chris and the anhestheologist talked to me behind our side of the curtain to discuss what was going on as the doctors worked their magic with my belly.  It was so odd listening to the doctors converse about their daily lives as they operated.  Just another day at the office.

Just ten minutes into the procedure  I heard, “Look at all that hair.”  But no sound from baby.  Where was that first breath?

I guess it takes a bit longer when a baby is gently removed from mama’s belly rather than pushed out over a period of time as happens in regular labor.  I remember Dominic’s first cry upon his arrival.   But this time was unique for us in every way. No baby cry at first.

After what seemed like minutes but was probably only seconds, Eliana let out her first little cry.  At that moment, tears swelled up in my eyes and the delightful smile of a new mama appeared on my face.  Chris leaned over and kissed me.  Joy. 

After that initial cry, Chris was beckoned behind the curtain that was separating us from Eliana. There, he helped the nurses as they washed her off a bit before giving her to me.  I got to hold her for about 10 minutes and then she and Chris were whisked away to a warmer room so that she could have her initial checks and I could be sewn back together.  Those moments belong to Chris and Eliana alone.

Eventually, I was wheeled back to join Chris and Eliana.  Once thy put Eliana in my arms, I didn’t want to let her go…

Life begins as a family…

I’ve been thinking of words to introduce this new chapter…

Delight (noun) Great pleasure. 

Joy and Delight are the only two words that even come close to describing my initial reaction upon meeting Eliana – funny, I felt the same joy upon meeting Dominic.  I must say that I worried about this bond throughout my pregnancy.  How could I love another being as much as Dominic?  Well, that intense bond of love appeared upon little Ellie’s arrival .  Wow, now I get to adore two little beings.  Blessed.

Things I love…

Holding, holding and holding my sweet baby girl and feeling her warmth…

Brushing my cheek against her soft head of fine dark hair.  Her hair feels as soft  as the fur on the underbelly of a kitten – so soft.

Those itty, bitty feet and her feminine, fragile, sinuous fingers

All variations of those cute baby squeaks

High pitched hiccups (Did Dominic have such high pitched hiccups?)

Watching her little legs kick

Cuddling with her curled little body on my chest

That sweet baby smell and her soft, warm, smooth baby skin

The warmth and sound, rise and fall of her belly as she breaths life

The way Chris cuddles and gently talks to Eliana

Watching Chris as a Daddy

Dominic’s absolute delight in “his baby “

CIRCLE (noun) a closed plane curve consisting of all points at a given distance from a point within it called the center –

I would say at the center of the circle is life.

Throughout the past week I’ve been thinking about the circle of life its’ circular relationships.  At times the circle expands, and at other times it contracts.  A series of circles overlap representing the different sets of circles that we are a part of in our lives.

Through it all, we have one another to lean on…  For Chris, Dominic, Pogo and I, our circle just expanded.  It feels so complete.  Eliana has aso expanded the realm of our larger family circles.

But as we all know, life itself is also circular.  It can be so sweet but at the same time sad and sometimes bitter.  For what it’s worth Eliana and grandma Mary now share the birthday in our family circle.  So sweet. 

However, over this past week, the circle of our Lepore family is simultaneously celebrating the joy of Eliana’s arrival while praying for the health of Grandma Lepore (Chris’s mama).  The day after her 75^th birthday, and the day after sweet Ellie’s arrival, Grandma Mary went in for open-heart surgery.  We are still praying for her rapid, healthy recovery.  So far, things are slowly progressing forward. 

Family and friends certainly unveil the reality of the circular relationships of life.  Life receives meaning because of the way we depend on one another for our survival and the way each little piece of the circle contributes so much joy to our lives. 

It is our circle of family and friends that make us feel so alive, so complete, so absolutely blessed… We cherish this circle of our family and friends.  To borrow from Emily Dickinson, our friends (and family) are our estate.  

The birth of each of our children has made us pause and embrace the circles in our lives...

Prelude to a new chapter

4:15 – Slipped in to check on Dominic.  I draped a blanket over his sprawled out little body in hopes of ensuring a few more hours of restful sleep in his big boy bed. 

4:27 – Hear the pitter patter of little feet followed by the CREAK of floorboards.  Dominic sleepily climbs into our bed, gently stepping over my belly.  He mutters something about stitches.

A mental slideshow begins to play in my mind.  This one is complete with different colored lenses that strike a chord at the range of emotions bubbling within.

ANTICIPATION/EXCITEMENT – What is our sweet little girl going to look like?  Will she have hair?  How much will she weigh?  What kind of disposition will she have? The past few times the Doctor has listened to her heartbeat, she has commented on her calmness.  

REFLECTION – Isn’t it weird how we take an absolutely perfect, beautiful wee child with such soft skin, fresh baby smell, sweet little squeaks and dress her in a man made outfit?  How unnatural…

BLISS -- I can’t wait to cuddle her -- feel her warm, smooth skin, and inhale that sweet baby breath on my face.  I will cherish every moment…

NOSTALGIA – Oh how I love cuddling with Dominic, my little boy curled next to me.  Feeling the warmth of his little hand as he holds it up against my face.  Listening to the sleep filled giggle of whatever dream he is watching in his mind.  Feeling the rise and fall of his little belly that assures me he’s breathing and so full of life.  He’s so sweet and calm when he sleeps.  I love the way he instinctively crosses his arms up and behind his neck, cradling his head in his hands – just like he was doing when we saw him through that first 3-D ultrasound.  So amazing how some things don’t change…   

DELIGHT

(I am holding on to one last slide -- its' lens is a different color.  Perhaps I'll share later...)

-- END SLIDE SHOW --

Today is Grandma Mary’s 75^th birthday.  Happy Birthday Mama Lepore!  Our sweet baby can't wait to kiss you! Dominic is already sending hugs and kisses!  We LOVE YOU!

Let’s go forth and embrace the new littlest Lepore.

Bring this sweet little girl into the world.

Wallow in the absolute JOY that is today.

I thank you god for most this amazing day!

 

 

July 12 – 12:29 Emergency Room – Ten Simple Stitches

Dominic took a tumble…

Sunday, I was out grocery shopping.  Chris was home beginning to install some new windows we have been dreaming of replacing.  I had left Dominic less than 40 minutes prior with his Auntie Gretchen to play with his cousins Benny and Mia. 

Just as I had put my last item into the cart and was heading toward the check out stand, my cell phone rang.  It was Auntie Gretchen.

“Melinda, you need to come back.  Dominic has been hurt.  I called 9-1-1 and the paramedics are on the way… He’s going to need a plastic surgeon.”  These were the words I heard from a worried, but trying to keep her self calm Auntie Gretchen.   I could hear Dominic crying in the background.

Twelve minutes later, after leaving frantic messages for Chris to meet us at the ER, I pulled up to see crying Dominic draped in the arms of Gretchen. Benny and Mia stood nearby and paramedics had a concerned look on their faces.  I tried to pull it together as my tears started to flow. 

Stay calm– somehow I sort of managed.

I scooped Dominic into my arms and we put him into the car. Gretchen and the kids drove us to the hospital. 

By now I had peered at the gaping wound about ½ inch below his eyebrows.  It was about ¾ inches deep and bright red blood was trickling out… 

Maintain composure.  Feel sweep of absolute heat overtake me.  Baby kicking – at least she’s OK.  Ride to hospital…

A worried Chris was already there waiting.  Same reaction, shock on his face, move away from the car.  Reemerge with a composed determination to take care of his dear son.

We checked in and waited.  And waited.  As the next two and a half hours blurrily slipped by, Chris and I took turns trying to maintain perspective of the big picture.  How lucky were we that Dominic would only need stitches, it could have been so much worse. 

At the same time we couldn’t help but feel the heavy blanket of sadness settle upon us.  This was our first experience of feeling helpless – unable to protect our sweet son from the inevitable pain that life will toss his way now and then. 

When I asked Chris how he was feeling, he said, “I’m sad.” He always has such a clear, simple ways of summing things up.

The wait continued.  

After a 45-minute nap in Chris’s arms, Dominic was ready to play.  We entertained him by riding around the hospital in the wheel chair, making up our usual really bad stories about bears, cars and whatever subject requests Dominic could conjure up, and helping him dream up requests for the food or drink he craved – ice cream, French fries, orange juice, etc.  (We were not allowed to let him eat or drink as they anticipated a need to sedate him for his stitches.) 

After waiting hours for the people who had arrived before us, or truly had life threatening conditions, we eventually made it in to see the Doctors. 

Turns out, they needed to sedate Dominic. 

Dominic was his usual inquisitive self.  As he lay there on the hospital gurney, with nothing but a diaper on, they applied 7 different leads with an array of colorful cords.  With the application of each one, Dominic curiously and quietly watched.  We counted and there were seven.  I told him that one more would make him an octopus.  He then asked the nurse and doctors to please put one more on so that he could be an octopus.

6 p.m. -- After Dominic was all stitched up and eventually reemerged from the fog of sedation; we finally got to head home as an exhausted but absolutely relieved and happy family.  We survived the ordeal intactJ

Dominic got to have French fries for dinner…  We didn’t even care that there was nothing healthy about it.

To say that we are blessed is an understatement. 

As we went through the entire experience, Chris and I knew we would look back upon this incident as a drop in life’s huge ocean.  We knew that it could have been a million times worse! But for that particular “moment,” it felt like we were treading water in life’s vast ocean.   It just hurt.

Maybe we’ll be more laid back during our next surprise encounter with life’s inevitable challenges.   Hopefully we’ll be just as lucky and he’ll only need ten simple stitches!

The accident in detail... Dominic was playing on a little toy horse that stands about two feet tall.  Somehow he leaned forward and the horse toppled over.  His nose hit the wall and then the brow of his nose slammed into the sharp corner of the box floor molding.  What were the odds that he would hit just right?  Thank God he didn’t break his nose!

July 10 -- 5 More Days

11:45 p.m.  Five more days!

Guess what, I can’t sleep – what a surprise these days.   We put Dominic Down at 9:00 and Chris was bushed and fell fast asleep. 

I tossed and turned, but finally at 10:30 I rolled out of bed and decided to get down on my hands and knees and scrub the kitchen floor.  Something I’ve been meaning to do for a couple of weeks now.  Thought it would tire me out.  Not so.  

This is good though because I can add a few more thoughts and some up to date pix.

SAVORING SUMMER

Let’s just touch upon the highlights of our week.  First – two movies in one week!  On Monday I went 

to one solo – My Sister’s Keeper.  And on Wednesday Chris and I went out and saw “Away We Go”.  Both movies were accompanied by buttery popcorn and absolute escape.  We both love going to the movies.

Oh, by the way, “Away we Go” was wonderful!  It’s about a couple that is expecting a child but can’t quite figure out where “home” should be.  So they go on a search to visit friends and family around the country while searching for “home”.  We laughed, shed a couple of tears and overall enjoyed the escape.

Tuesday – July 7 (The day I thought for months that our sweet baby would arrive…  Oops!  I’m beginning to wonder if she’s real?)

HAIRCUT -- Dominic got his haircut.  It was a huge turning point because I didn’t have to hold him and semi-pin him down.  He decided that he wanted to sit on the motorcycle haircutting chair.  He was a superstar!   He was so proud to be sitting on a motorcycle.  And afterwards, he insisted that he get a pink balloon as his reward.  I love his balanced approach to life – a little masculine with the feminine.

Of course that evening when Chris came home, he said, “Daddy, I want a motorcycle.”  Chris said he’d get him one when he’s 5.  O.K. – not sure how I feel about that just yet.  Doesn’t 5 seem a bit young?  He hasn’t even mastered the tricycle yet. 

I do have a feeling that motorcycles are in our near future as Dominic takes every chance he can get to sit on Chris’s motorcycle in the garage.  And let me tell you, that motorcycle is the envy of every little boy who happens to wander into the garage.  It does amaze me how little boys truly do seem to be prewired for these things.

After the haircut, Dominic and I went and visited with some of my friends and their little ones from school.  A colleague who I used to teach with at LOJ but moved to Texas a few years ago, came to visit.  She has a 6 month old, Amelia who we had not met yet.  It was a wonderful morning.  I got to catch up with friends and Dominic had a blast playing with the kiddos.

Wednesday – July 8 (One week out from scheduled cesarean.  Can’t wait to meet this baby.  Feels like she’s getting HUGE!)

Today Miss Irene and her kiddos Augie, Eddie and Olivia came to play.  Dominic was so HAPPY!  Miss Irene takes care of him when I work and Dominic adores her and the kiddos.  He’s been asking to see them for over a week! 

Thursday – July 9  -- Day at the Zoo

Auntie Sara took Dominic and Aidan to the zoo.  Dominic loves playing with his cousins! 

Dominic said that he got to pet and brush the goats.  And he told us about the mama and daddy hippos playing with a ball.  He sad they opened their mouths really wide – of course his explanation involved showing us with his hands and mouth.  Auntie Sara said that Dominic walked the entire time.  He’s getting to be such a big boy!

Today – July 10 --  Dominic and I played at home.  We read books, painted, played with play dough, played games, sang, danced and took a glorious nap.  When Chris came home we headed down to the Pearl District to have slices of warm cheesy pizza at Hot Lips Pizza.  Afterwards, Chris and Dominic played in the fountain as I sat with my big old belly on a slab of granite.  Dominic loves that fountain!  Chris got to chase him and race with him all over the place.

Afterwards, we went and had ice cream cones.  What a perfect summer night!

Hello!

July 7, 2009

Hello!

What is it about the anticipation of a baby’s arrival that brings about inability to sleep past 4 a.m.?  If it’s not my hips screaming at me to WAKE UP, it’s the thoughts whirling through my mind!!!

Is it me? Or do most moms experience the same productive 4a.m. wakeful hours prior to baby?  I often wonder if this is why Dominic woke at 4 am and eventually 4:30 for almost the fist year after his birth – I conditioned him prior to his arrival by my weeks of 4 a.m. wakeups?  I suppose this theory will be tested with sweet baby number two.

Enough of my internal babble. 

Hello family, hello friends!  It’s time to tread into this world of “social media” and begin to share some “snapshots” of Lepore Life.  My purpose is two-fold. First, I owe it to our dear family in Ohio to share our wee ones.  The remainder of our family and friends may even appreciate and occasional glimpse as well.  Second, I have this thing about writing that I have quite clearly put on the back burner for too long.  Perhaps this semi-public blog will inspire me to finally put “pen to paper” and begin sharing.  Time will tell.

What better time to is there to start a blog than days, maybe hours before the arrival of our long-anticipated newest family member?  

As I was tossing in bed this morning – before I finally got up at 3:56 – I was thinking back to when Dominic arrived.  What sort of lessons we have learned and discoveries we have stumbled across.   Let’s begin…

DISCOVERIES

Dominic:  JOY – v [intrans.] rejoice. I’d add to this definition, “basking or awakened by absolute happiness.”

Upon Dominic’s arrival I will forever remember JOY.  When we first met Dominic, it was the only word I conjure up to describe this indescribable.  It was like having my breath taken away by a flood of happiness.  Joy – I could taste it, smell it and feel it’s warm radiance. 

Since Dominic’s arrival, there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t pause and reflect upon the laughter, smiles, and awe and wonder that out little man inspires.  

Joy is delicious!

Baby Girl:  PATIENCE - n. The capacity to accept delay, trouble or suffering without getting upset.

On so many levels, our soon-to-be sweet baby girl is teaching me the meaning of patience.  From her conception, she taught me to relinquish control.  She will appear when she is ready.  It’s not about our schedule or our expectations.  We need to sit back and enjoy the ride.  Be patient. 

It is only as of this week that I have discovered that throughout this journey of so wanting our second child, I have had to learn patience. 

First, be open to new experiences.  I must say this has been an eye-opening discovery.  I think that I have unconsciously assumed that our second child experience would mirror our first.  Not so.  She will be her own little unique self!

Let’s start with birth preparation.  I assumed that our second childbirth experience would be similar to our first – au natural.  Not so.

I must say, I have forgotten the intensity of the pain of labor and honestly remember it as a beautiful pain that lead to the apogee of joy.  (OK, so I remember the pain of childbirth as making the slow slog to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro look like a walk in the park. But truly, it was worth every grueling second of pain and I was looking forward to reliving that feeling again.)

Think again.  Be patient.  Be open to a new experience --  Cesarean. 

Yes, our second child has decided to hang out in the breech position. This time it looks as if the birth of our child will not be as closely in our hands but in the hands of well-educated experts.  Probably a good thingJ

Needless to say, no beautiful pushing and “coaxing” the child into the world this time around; instead, a gentle arrival on her part.  This time forget the relaxation exercises and gentle music, mostly intimate experience for Chris and I to share. Instead, mentally prepare for large medical crew of 

nurses, anaestheologists and surgeons to administer heavy narcotics and sedation under bright lights.  Prepare for abdominal incision.  Anticipate an entirely new birthing experience.  Bask in the joy of  the gentle arrival of our sweet baby girl!  Let the child take the lead.  Be patient… 

Oh, so many new lessons about patience will gradually appear.  I must take a deep breath and savor each lesson.

Patience truly is a virtue!

 Good-bye for today!  Wonder when our next posting will appear?

The Photos

Left:  Dominic's Arrival -- So maybe he wasn't exactly "gently coaxed".

Right: Just a little photo of our little Mr. Magoo as we so fondly started calling our wee little guy.  Most people said he looked like a little old man.  He eventually grew into his skin!  It will be so fun to look at their arrival pictures side by side!